you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
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I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.