So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You need a sexual gate keeper
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
