A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.