Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize