Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
