Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
