they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
