found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
