I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
