glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize