I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
