is your mom at the bar?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
