So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
His nipple licking is glorious
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