I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
