like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
