Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
