Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
