i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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