we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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