why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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