But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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