listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
