some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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