How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
