It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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