Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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