uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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