OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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