You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
