so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
