his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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