areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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