All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
