Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
