I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
