just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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