Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
