Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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