arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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