why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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