p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize