So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
