I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.