I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.