I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.