last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize