Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.