turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dick very happy bro
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
