just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
