i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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