Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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