It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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