I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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