Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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