Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
