Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
