I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
