just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
