Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
