is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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