Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
