yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize