Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
