I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Randomize
