who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
