We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
