Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
