sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
